needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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