Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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