I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
