Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
