dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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