I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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