week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
