He told me they were just razor bumps!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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