Nicole vs. Life
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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