I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
