He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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