I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I intend to get homeless drunk
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You ate ashes out of my bong
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
