i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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