im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He did a backflip because drugs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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