your thong is hanging out like whoa
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i've created a new STD.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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