So many bounce houses so little time
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
