yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
