The maid of honor just puked.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
