***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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