After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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