well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
