Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Are we still banned from the library?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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