do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
