i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
