hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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