yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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