I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
