I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
