I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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