honey bunches of taint.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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