Porn is love you can see.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
