I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
