How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
