Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
