where am i from again
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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