maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
