somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
