I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
