I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am spending my child support on dildos
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
