My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
