there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
