Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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