my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
