Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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