we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
