Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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