I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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