CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
