Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
