And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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