Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
