I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
