I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
